Substitute Karma. No nap today.

Lately I have been going in about once a week or so and spending the day with Jenica and her kindergarten class. I am what is called the Parent Helper or affectionately Miss Kim. It is sort of like my little happy place. There are no dishes to wash, no laundry to do, no homework beckoning just magical world of carpet time, centers and hand sanitizer. The first time I volunteered it was Jenica's class Halloween party. Those that know me, know I rarely miss the opportunity to rock some kitty ears and watch a grown man dressed up like Batman make balloon animals. It was awesome. My table was letter sound Bingo and I don't mean to brag but, I had kids lining up to play at my table ;) Well, that is kind of bragging isn't it? Aw well, it was a pretty awesome game. Oh, anyway right, so we had a great day and Jenica's Kindergarten teacher told me that if I wanted I could come help out any time. Sweet! So, I waited for the chaos of school to wear off (still waiting) and then decided I would do it anyway. And, I did. It's great! I love it so much. Mrs Meengs asked me if I am in school for early childhood education. That didn't help my swollen head over the bingo table, let me tell you. But, alas, I am not in school for early childhood ed, truth be told, I don't think I could maintain that level of patience for that long of a period of time. No, scratch that, I know I couldn't. So, HIT it is....besides I do have a pretty unnatural love for Anatomy.

Thursday was my first official day as a Parent Helper, all the previous days I have just kind of dropped Jenica off and stuck around...no official title necessary, just any excuse not to do my homework really. Miss Miaya went to nap at Grandma and Papa's house and Jena and I headed off to school. Once I got there I noticed right away that there were a couple of things out of place. Little things but, to 5 year olds....Oh man. I took my seat, watched Jena meander over and put her back pack away and take her place on the carpet "criss cross applesauce" and waited for Gina to arrive. An athletic, petite blond woman approached the front of the class. She announced that she was Miss Neuman and that she would be their teacher today. All at once, twenty little arms shot up into the air, fingers outstretched to the sky.....anxiously craving confirmation that all would be back to normal in an acceptable amount of time....like tomorrow for a five year old if you have one. My hat goes off to that sub she held her ground, offered just the right amount of reassurance and then went straight into the typical daily routine. Well, at least her interpretation of it anyway. All she had to determine the sequence of events was a couple of pieces of notebook paper with a rough outline of the dailsy activities but, I assure you no one can handle a class room like Gina Meengs. This woman had some very large shoes to fill and these kids knew it. I quietly observed, and then I had a thought "I could sneak out of here and no one would ever be the wiser" A small panic attack engulfed me as I thought "What if this woman, recognizes that I have been in class before and thinks I know what to do?" Beads of sweat formed across my brow as a vision of me leading the Days of the Week song flashed in my mind. Gulp. I don't have to stay. I could even (insert large gasp here) take an afternoon nap. A luxury I had not known for a very very long time. Besides, those who know me well, know I also don't seek out leadership roles. I avoid them at all costs. Quietly I gathered my belongings and began backing toward the door. Miss Neuman was so busy maintaining the status quo she hadn't even seen me, no harm no foul, I always say. Out I crept, ever so silently out the door. Made it across the playground, down the hallway, out the main doors and to my truck before I was struck from behind with a bus that had a one way destination to Guiltville, no stops no ticket exchanges, no refunds.

Key outstretched poised at the lock, coat in hand, nap fantasy half way underway, I dropped my head and sighed. No nap today. Back I trudged toward my Karma Kindergarten destiny hoping that bus hadn't left tracks on my back that spelled out "Coward". As I walked in the door it was clear I made the right choice, two little faces turned toward my direction and mouthed through smiles "Aren't you Jena's Mommy, Miss Kim?" I nodded, smiled and motioned to turn the heads toward the front of the class where the sub was attempting to lead Alphabet Friends. Each letter is recited, along with a little hand gesture and the sound the letter makes, while a card with the letter and corresponding picture is held up for example : A; Apple; Ah-Ah-Ah-Ah, B; Bear; Buh-Buh-Buh-Buh.....A, B and C, went just fine. However, right after C, came M. Houston we have a problem. Five little hands shot up, "Teachoh, Teachoh, M isn't wight, it is sposed to be D!" I have to hand it to her, she handled it like a pro. "It's alright" she said, "It's better practice this way" Her explanation was acceptable to the masses and she carried on. The day went on much like that, little idiosyncrasies to the routine norm, a small pause of reassurance and then we carried on. Maybe she doesn't have the same shoe size as their regular teacher, but she had some pretty darn good insoles ;)