He does mean well. A karma donation for my dear old Dad.

I love my Dad. He is a great man but, when it comes to his gift buying ability for my Mom.....well, let's just say he does mean well. He really does. He believes his gifts are thoughtful, logical, practical and is a firm believer in "it's the thought that counts" I couldn't agree more. It is the thought that counts. However if that "thought" inspires you to purchase a new shower curtain for your Wife for Christmas, you and my Dad have a lot in common.

Dad seemed the perfect candidate for a karma donation. He is legally blind so he is not able to get out of the house unless Mom takes him and if she takes him to the store to shop for gifts she would inevitably see his purchases. Herein lies the dilemma. So, I decided to take him out thereby spending some quality time with my Pops while donating to my Karma Cause. It's a win-win.

"You don't have to do this" he began. "I already have something in mind for your Mom." I stifled back a laugh but, he caught it. "Now, now," this has always been one of his trademark phrases. Just like "One day at at time. One step at a time" and once he found out about the deterioration of his optic nerves he began saying "It's a sense of humor thing." Did I say I love my Dad? I love my Dad. "Okay Dad" I responded, trying my best to keep a straight face, "I'm listening. What did you have in mind?" I tried my best to be stoic, thinking that if I made a conscious deliberate effort to thwart any sort of humorous response that it would actually work. I was wrong. "She has been talking about wanting a clothes rack so she can dry her clothes." He said it with so much sincerity that it was actually kind of sweet but, at the same time he has been married long enough that he really ought to know better by now. When you are first married or coupled or significant othered or whatever alternative politically correct term you wish to apply, there is of course a period of trial and error. I get that. My parents have been married for 38 years. The introductory offer has expired. He is a seasoned rookie and should act as such.

Kind of like when my Mom called me a few weeks ago and opened with "Can you please come get your Father, I just don't know what to do with him." Long story short, she had purchased a DVD newly released and as a promotional gimmick was given an energy drink and a box of band aids for free. An oddly unlikely but, somewhat appropriate pairing if you ask me. Anyway, she let my Father have the energy drink. While it did give him energy, it also made him even more talkative. Please understand my Dad needs to be more talkative like Cookie Monster needs more cookies. He has actually had telemarketers hang up on him. Little old men left sitting on a bench outside the dressing room while their wives try on clothes live in fear of him because they know that he will quite literally talk their ear off. But, again Mom is 38 years in. She should have known better. And, I told her that. Nicely.

The same way that I explained to my Dad that his wife did not want a clothes rack for Christmas.